Scared To Death..

     I'm not afraid of a lot of things. Mice, I have them as pets. Tornadoes, I lived through one and I am happy to tell the tale. Noises in the night, I will go check them out (with a bat of course). But, tell me that I need to have an operation and they have to put me under, the fear factor is ramped up to the extreme. There is no rational reason for this fear, I have never had anyone I know have a problem, it is just an unreasonable fear with no apparent cause. A phobia in other words. I have found that this must be fairly common since ,when doing a google search, I found countless websites devoted to "Curing You of Your Fear".
     I used to tell myself that the only way I would have surgery was if one of my kids needed some organ of mine or, if I was picked from the bone marrow donor list. Neither of which seemed very likely. Who knew that after 2 years of Crossfit I would need to have knee surgery. Now, don't get me wrong, I certainly don't blame Crossfit for this happening. I am sure that it would have been necessary down the road, many, many, many, miles down the road. I'm pretty sure I could have ambled along riding the exercise bike or occasionally running and have been perfectly fine until I was quite a bit older.
     But, here is the thing. I wouldn't be able to continue to enjoy Crossfit and all the people and experiences that go along with the Crossfit workouts and events. I wouldn't be able to try to figure out what my "max" back squat is. I wouldn't be able to finally figure out how to do double unders (and I WILL figure them out some day). And worst of all, I would have a legitimate excuse not to run anymore. This would be the biggest regret because I hate running and every time I run and get through it, I get to feel proud of myself.
     So, I am going to have the surgery because I want to still be able to be part of the Crossfit Community.  I get a lot more from Crossfit than just getting fit (although that is a huge bonus). I have found a group of people that seem to be a bit kinder and more thoughtful than the people I find in everyday life. And while I would miss the workouts a lot, I would miss the people even more!

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